M. C. A. Hogarth ([info]haikujaguar) wrote,
@ 2008-03-25 11:03:00
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Current mood:scattered

Scattered
A while back I talked about destructive independence, where you pretend things are great when they're not, which robs people around you of the opportunity to support you when you need it.

So here's where I try to practice what my characters preach, and say that I'm going to be distracted and scattered for the next few weeksuntil I find out when they're scheduling my husband's surgery. Mostly I am concentrating on finding extra money for babysitting and such... or even finding a babysitter, since my usual babysitter is having family problems of her own and isn't available.

I appreciate deeply your patience, since I'm sure I'll be missing steps here and there until things settle down. You all have been really wonderful; I only hope I give you as much as you give me!


Stardancer Home.


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[info]quietwillow
2008-03-25 03:10 pm UTC (link)
You give so much. I love reading your journal and sharing your joys and sorrows... My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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[info]varjohaltia
2008-03-25 03:14 pm UTC (link)
Please know that you have my best wishes, and I hope everything will go well.

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[info]archangelbeth
2008-03-25 03:21 pm UTC (link)
Good luck! I hope all goes smoothly!

(How much extra do you need for a substitute babysitter? (Or, if there are any good ones around, a daycare?))

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[info]haikujaguar
2008-03-25 03:29 pm UTC (link)
I'm not sure yet... last time we had a disruption of about two months. Right now I'm just trying to lay aside some extra everything, what I can, because I probably will want to buy more food outright (instead of cooking) along with getting the extra babysitting.

I was thinking maybe it's the right time to do another reader-funded One-Card Draw... or sell some prints. Not sure yet, though. *muse* Maybe I can barter people for food supplies, coffee, etc. Heh. :)

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[info]archangelbeth
2008-03-25 06:41 pm UTC (link)
If you need funds... Time and memory are frazzled things for me, but drop me an email and I can very likely throw money atcha, or get my spouse to do so. *wry grin*

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*hugs*
[info]ysabetwordsmith
2008-03-25 03:33 pm UTC (link)
I wish you and your family the best. Meanwhile here's something that may make you smile:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W95Y8hNQiH8&feature=related

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Support
[info]arimania
2008-03-25 03:51 pm UTC (link)
I'm in a position right now that allows me to help out some. If you're willing to post specific material needs, like brand and size diapers you use or the kinds of non-perishable foods your family uses, I may be able to send you a care package. I've been passing the Aphorisms around amongst my friends, and you're a big hit. We'd like to help.

How do you feel about a collection? That's what we do around here when someone is in need. Well, we also bake casseroles and invite children to come to *our* homes after school for a few days/weeks, but... you know. Basically, if everyone does a little bit, it adds up to a lot and no one's put out to do it.

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Re: Support
[info]haikujaguar
2008-03-25 03:52 pm UTC (link)
Seriously? O_O

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Re: Support
[info]arimania
2008-03-25 05:44 pm UTC (link)
...yeah... *is WAY intimidated*

Yeah. It's about Community. You are not Atlas. It is unreasonable to expect one person to shoulder the burden of the world. One man doesn't move a boulder. Imagine what that would be like? If everyone put a hand on that boulder and just took one step, the boulder moves wherever you want it to go. No one is even winded. Many hands make light work.

Remember what you said about Ishas? The thing that you are uniquely shaped and outfitted to do in this world? Sometimes it's as simple as "give what you are able, not what you can spare." The difference is dignity over being the charity case, and maintenance of communal bonds over burdening your community.

I sometimes offer to babysit some of my friends' children out of the blue, for no cash. Why? Because I lost my firstborn years ago, and sometimes I just need someone's children around to fill that gap for a little while. What that exchange provides, no money could ever come close to providing. It's a perfect little arrangement. I'm a responsible invested adult who is engaging the kidlins for awhile, an enriching experience for both parties, and mom and dad get the break they need. Everyone's refreshed, and no one's put-upon.

That's just one example. Give what you are able, not what you can spare. I'm not working this semester while I pursue an RN degree, so I've got oodles of spare time to organize a carepackage. Also, there's these well meaning church folks who mistake my mom's disability and my unemployment for poverty despite my explanations to the contrary. They keep bringing us boxes of food that we don't need! They won't stop! It's driving me nuts! There are people around me in real need of those things and it ain't us, and they just cluck at me like I'm in denial or something. Exceedingly frustrating.

Ten thousand spoons and all you need is a knife kinda situation. So! If any of this is stuff your family uses, it's going to you, Missus. Along with whatever monies Denise and Bruce and 'em wanna donate. Er... that is... if you want.

If I just tipped over into the realm of Creepy Internet Person, just blink twice, K?

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Re: Support
[info]dulcinbradbury
2008-03-25 06:05 pm UTC (link)
::grins:: I don't know you, but, you've just popped up to being one of my favorite people. :)

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Re: Support
[info]haikujaguar
2008-03-25 07:23 pm UTC (link)
Oh no, not at all! I'm just overwhelmed...!

As soon as I know just how much time this is going to take, I promise I'll post about how people can help, if they're still inclined. :)

*hug* Thank you.

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[info]ellenmillion
2008-03-25 03:56 pm UTC (link)
All the best for you getting through this time and healthy thoughts for your husband!

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[info]anisette_toast
2008-03-25 04:07 pm UTC (link)
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I'm actually facing some potential surgery myself and have been pondering the big "where does the money come from" issue myself. I'll let you know if I come up with any good suggestions! So, the best I can provide is some sympathizing and prayers.

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[info]fatfred
2008-03-25 04:21 pm UTC (link)
I'm just acroos the bay.
May I bring you some diapers or something?
Really.

(I work full time, and know nothing of babies, so I'm not good in the babysitting department, but I'd like to help.)

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[info]talix18
2008-03-25 06:07 pm UTC (link)
I don't know what ET's surgery is about but I will light a candle at the appropriate time for everyone to be surrounded with good energy. In the meantime, I would absolutely support a balance card draw should you decide to do one.

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[info]puffbird
2008-03-25 07:13 pm UTC (link)
My thoughts will be with you! And if I can find a more material way to help, I'll do that too. We're still a little shaky ourselves, still, and it will be another couple months before I really know where we stand. But if I can do something, I will be sure to send help your way.

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[info]sartorias
2008-03-25 07:49 pm UTC (link)
Yeesh, best wishes to your spouse!

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[info]janni
2008-03-25 08:56 pm UTC (link)
Many good thoughts to you all! Keep us posted.

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[info]dsgood
2008-03-25 11:03 pm UTC (link)
Good thoughts on the way!

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[info]dsgood
2008-03-25 11:05 pm UTC (link)
Oh -- and don't worry about not keeping up with things the way you would if your life was less complicated right now.

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[info]alex_beecroft
2008-03-25 11:20 pm UTC (link)
I hope everything goes really well; better and easier than you expected.

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[info]befers
2008-03-26 01:45 am UTC (link)
I don't know what his surgery is for, but having been through some pretty serious brain surgery myself 4 years ago, you and he and your daughter are in my thoughts. Please let me know if there is anything I can do, and I too would be interested in your one-card draw idea.

I'm also somewhat interested in commissioning a painting from you as an anniversary gift, though I don't know if you have the time for that right now, and would understand completely if you don't. Drop me an e-mail at befinn (at) gmail (dot) com if you get the chance.

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[info]floorlamps
2008-03-26 03:10 am UTC (link)
My prayers are with y'all, definitely, and keep us posted on any more material help we can offer.

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[info]miintikwa
2008-03-26 03:13 am UTC (link)
*HUGS*

Thoughts and prayers are with you and the family. Always.

Let us know when you know what you need, and I guarantee you will have it.

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[info]razzek
2008-03-26 10:32 pm UTC (link)
Egads, surgery?! Well, you both will be in my prayers, then. And it's a shame I live almost a thousand miles away; I'd babysit for free in this circumstance.

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[info]anamacha
2008-04-01 07:59 am UTC (link)
may everything happen just as it should. If I could give more, I definitely would.

Edited at 2008-04-01 07:59 am UTC

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