M. C. A. Hogarth (haikujaguar) wrote,
  • Mood: !

Messed-Up

The language lessons are easier with Shame than with the Calligrapher, which seems counter-intuitive. Maybe I know Shame cares less about my (horrible) penmanship. Or maybe I too well recognize how the Calligrapher's love of the word itself is entwined with the concept, and it makes me more self-conscious about getting it wrong.

Shame is all about the meaning. Anything else he ignores. So I sit with my little list of concepts and the existing lexicon and try to find the new words. That's how I run across this one:
fushel [ foo SHEHL ], (adjective) – rejected; specifically, when one offers a loved one necessary help but is refused, resulting in the loved one limping onward in poor state out of stubbornness.

"Ouch," I mutter. "You have a word for that?"

"You don't?" he says. "You should."

I can't disagree with that. It's how I find the next:
iekuvren [ ye KOOV rehn ], (noun) – destructive independence; in which a person believes they do not require or must not ask for the aid of others, or the connection of relationships, or love when in fact they do and must, and push all attempts of those who care about them away. This quality leads to akuvrash.

"Oh, hey," I say. "You have a word for that too." I'm beginning to feel embarrassed and I can't tell why. Maybe it's a pot-kettle thing. Except the next word is so unsettling that I forget to blush.
akuvrash [ ah koo VRAASH ], (noun) – the local destruction of an individual's community, caused by their inability or unwillingness to accept aid, love or form connections.

He says nothing and continues reading his book. Pointedly. I mutter and keep taking notes.
vashkavr [ vahsh KAHVR ], (adjective) – messed up; usually refers to a community substantially crippled by missing connections or broken ones.

I am wondering why I can't find a more formal definition for this one when Shame says casually from the window-seat, "You won't want to say that one out loud."

I pause, then say, "Is that an expletive?"

He snorts, amused. I assume this is agreement.

"I didn't know you cursed," I say, because I've heard him use this word. A lot.

"People only ask for me when none of their own efforts have worked and they've tried everything," Shame says. "You see as many such situations as I do without having a word to describe them accurately."

"It's all about the accuracy," I say, wry.

"Nothing says messed-up like vashkavr," he says.


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Tags: ai-naidar, culture, language, meta-conversations
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