M. C. A. Hogarth ([info]haikujaguar) wrote,
@ 2007-10-17 14:37:00
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Entry tags:the aphorisms of kherishdar

The Aphorisms of Kherishdar: Mesiln
For [info]wolflady26, who asked to see a criminal.


MESILN
M.C.A. Hogarth

mesiln [ meh SEELN ], (verb) – to submit; a virtue. Everyone submits to someone or something in Kherishdar, and to do so with grace is admired.


      There is only one Bleak in all of Kherishdar and I had no desire to see it... but my lord required my presence, and so I accompanied his entourage into the bucolic loveliness surrounding the capital. Half a day later we stood in a brooding hall with the facade of a temple and the mien of a graveyard: not inappropriate for the last place an Ai-Naidari can go in this life to atone for faults so egregious her only recourse is to be broken. Every whisper of our robes returned to us as mocking echoes; the room was without decoration, no arrases, no paintings, no statues or rugs. Only cold, dark gray stone, lonely and impersonal, with a ceiling so high it emphasized the unattainable sky.
      "I have come as I said," my lord said to a somber Guardian, who bowed deep and withdrew.
      I waited with growing anticipation. There were few reasons any lord came to the Bleak, and since we'd brought no prisoners it was likely that I was about to serve as formal witness to one of the most transcendent redemptions in Kherishdar. When the Guardian returned, one of his fellows held a great, narrow book bound in silver-stamped leather. The group parted to reveal a woman in nondescript shirt and trousers, her hands bound with white cord. She kneeled before my lord... slowly, so slowly. She was several years my junior, but her body knew no language anymore save grief.
      Silence then, in that great hall. Then my lord's words, soft but carrying. "Do you have a name?"
      Her voice was gray with sorrow, Abased almost to negation. "If there was a name, it would be cursed and buried." Her ears were flat, her tail limp against the stone. "What the masirkedi sees is without form."
      "Speak freely. Would you return now to the society that what-you-were once forsook?"
      Her thin shoulders trembled. "Please," she whispered. "Oh, please. Take me, masirkedi. I will serve Civilization again."
      My lord took the knife one of the Guardians offered and sliced the cords around her wrist. "Then I will make you mine. Rise."
      As she stood, he continued, "You will begin as one of my household servants. As is the law, in a year I will evaluate your ishas and see you placed where you belong."
      She bowed low, shaking. "Thank you, thank you. Oh thank you."
      So it was that my signature was set on the great book as witness to the redemption of this singular soul. On the way back to the capital I watched her attend my lord and thought of the kindness of the empire, to give such a criminal another life. She would have to bow her head to all the law, the defiance of which had seen her sent to the Bleak... but who among us did not?
      "Paint her something," my lord said. Two days later, I sent a wooden pendant with a single word: Submit.


The Aphorisms Website.


(54 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]moonfire77
2007-10-17 06:52 pm UTC (link)
You always manage to make me cry...

(Reply to this)


[info]altonwings
2007-10-17 07:05 pm UTC (link)
Redemption has been a common theme I enjoy, in part because it's so rare. What a beautiful gift a second chance can be. Too often we think that bad people should be made to suffer, and rarely do we consider that someone who is repentant for their misdeeds should be once more treated with kindness.

This one brought a tear to my eye as well.

(Reply to this)


[info]archangelbeth
2007-10-17 07:13 pm UTC (link)
*chuckle* Manages to hit all my creepy buttons... (Which is not, I note, a bad thing.)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]haikujaguar
2007-10-17 07:26 pm UTC (link)
I was wondering if someone would find it creepy!!

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)


[info]tuftears
2007-10-17 07:54 pm UTC (link)
I actually think it's creepy too, but we live in a society that preaches both freedom and loyalty - it's a free country, ergo, do what we want, but we should serve God and country.

Creepy elements, to me:

* She was sentenced to the Bleak - for what crime? Evidently refusal to obey the rules in some respect, and unwillingness to submit to punishments accordingly. Was a crime committed that we Westerners would understand?
* While her basic needs must have been provided for, she decided that exclusion from society was worse than submitting to another's rule. This is the utter subjugation of a free soul.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]haikujaguar, 2007-10-17 08:14 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]tuftears, 2007-10-17 08:29 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]haikujaguar, 2007-10-17 08:59 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]tuftears, 2007-10-17 09:07 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]haikujaguar, 2007-10-17 09:15 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]altonwings, 2007-10-17 09:03 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]haikujaguar, 2007-10-17 09:15 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]chorus_of_chaos, 2007-11-01 01:27 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]haikujaguar, 2007-11-02 04:29 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]chorus_of_chaos, 2007-11-02 11:29 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]archangelbeth, 2007-10-17 09:57 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]shdragon
2007-10-17 11:42 pm UTC (link)
I find it incredibly creepy as well, but for a reason I didn't see mentioned in my skimming of the comments:

Why would the Calligrapher choose Submit as his 'gift' to the newly reformed woman? I would see "submitting to the system" as how someone on the outside (someone who doesn't understand the system, and more importantly, doesn't appreciate it) would describe what she must do.

Though, now that I read it again, and especially take note of the definition: mesiln [ meh SEELN ], (verb) – to submit; a virtue.. I think a large portion of the creepiness comes from that "fiercely independent human spirit" that creates a heavy negative connotation on the word 'submit'. And that contrasts completely with the Al-Naidari definition of it.

I get the feeling that there is an English word that carries the definition of 'submit' but without that hefty negative connotation, but, for the life of me, I can not think of it.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]haikujaguar, 2007-10-17 11:53 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]stryck, 2007-10-18 12:29 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]ysabetwordsmith, 2007-10-18 05:12 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]dulcinbradbury, 2007-10-18 02:24 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]haikujaguar, 2007-10-18 02:55 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]wolflady26, 2007-10-19 04:03 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]donal_mac_r, 2009-04-07 03:51 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]haikujaguar, 2009-04-07 04:32 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]tabard
2007-10-17 07:54 pm UTC (link)
I'll second this. I find myself morbidly curious about what her infraction was. And not wanting to know at the same time.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)


[info]haikujaguar
2007-10-17 07:57 pm UTC (link)
I don't know her history--she isn't telling. But the majority of people who transgress so aggressively that they end up in the Bleak (which is a place of last resort, after family, lord and lord's lord cannot Correct you) are usually above the Wall of Birth.

I found this interesting because in our society it's the other way around: the more privilege you have, the less likely you are to end up in "prison." There the common wisdom is more like the more responsibility you have, the more likely you are to end up in prison.

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(no subject) - [info]tabard, 2007-10-17 08:48 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]haikujaguar, 2007-10-17 08:56 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]tabard, 2007-10-17 09:21 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]haikujaguar, 2007-10-18 12:14 am UTC (Expand)

[info]janni
2007-10-17 08:02 pm UTC (link)
Yes, I found it creepy, too!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]prometheus54
2007-10-17 08:07 pm UTC (link)
I find this to be a very interesting Aphorism for being the last one of the set. Will you be rearranging them in the chapbook? Was there a reason this one was last? Or are they simply meant to truly be in whatever order they came into being?

Another note: For some reason this one has a different tone to me than the rest did. It seems... darker. I'm not sure if that's what you were going for, but it's definitely part of what I got from it. Either way, I enjoyed it immeasurably.

Thank you.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]haikujaguar
2007-10-17 08:12 pm UTC (link)
It's not actually the last, but the second to last (posted... they're in a different order when taken by timeline, as reflected in the table of contents).

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)


[info]prometheus54
2007-10-18 01:25 pm UTC (link)
This was actually pointed out to me directly after having made this post. Knowing this really did make my questions rather moot, didn't it? Regardless, thank you for the reply.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]thedigitalkuri
2007-10-17 08:41 pm UTC (link)
WEEEE WANT A CHAP BOOK MY FRIIIIENDS. AND WEEEEE'LL KEEP ON FIGHTING TILL THE END. (With colour, please. I'll wait. And I'll pay the cash moneys for it. <3)

That said?

satisfying. Which is a strange feeling to get. But satisfying. I'm going to have to sit down with this one again and rethink for deeper feedback if you desire it.

I think.. I found it satisfying.. because.. of the happy that the Calligrapher felt. I also could understand that it causes unease. I'm not sure that I like the idea of a soul being so ... in flux/worried/harried? that it needs to be reshaped.

However. I could really feel along with her. The anxiety, and the soothing that comes with being re-accepted after the fact. One would hope she lives wisely.

(Reply to this)


[info]miintikwa
2007-10-17 08:45 pm UTC (link)
I find myself hoping against hope that even if this is it, there will continue to be more tales. There is so much more to learn here.

(And I still want to know what they do with their dead. That comes from how my Elves deal with their dead, and how it impacts my story, and book 2, which I have just finished outlining.)

(Reply to this)


[info]feste_sylvain
2007-10-17 08:55 pm UTC (link)
The very word "Islam" means "to submit".

(Reply to this)


[info]themaskmaker
2007-10-17 09:47 pm UTC (link)
Even though there's redemption here, I still feel sad.

(Reply to this)


[info]samhenderson
2007-10-17 10:00 pm UTC (link)
Oh, but how I would like to see someone offered redemption, and defy it, and break everyone's heart and her own.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]haikujaguar
2007-10-17 10:05 pm UTC (link)
You have succeeded in horrifying all the Ai-Naidar in my head! *laugh*

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)


[info]samhenderson
2007-10-17 10:11 pm UTC (link)
I share their horror! I know it was a BAD wish.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]archangelbeth, 2007-10-17 10:37 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]samhenderson, 2007-10-17 11:04 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]haikujaguar, 2007-10-17 11:54 pm UTC (Expand)
The beauty of flawed things - [info]ysabetwordsmith, 2007-10-18 12:28 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]donal_mac_r, 2009-04-07 03:55 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]perusetheshade
2007-10-18 05:13 am UTC (link)
I agree with a few posters here: the very word "submit," and the context in which it is here used, angers me. It is a very, very visceral, deep, KILL reaction.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]donal_mac_r
2009-04-07 03:57 pm UTC (link)
And yet, what is the label on the button we click to send these comments and messages into cyberspace?

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(no subject) - [info]perusetheshade, 2009-04-07 04:28 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]thisdaydreamer
2007-10-18 06:48 am UTC (link)
I can see the horror and creepiness of this, but the redemption is what overrides all of it.

This was a chosen redemption. It is clear that other options were there.

This is the path that she felt was the right one.

Sometimes, we are harsher on ourselves than anyone else would be. That does not weaken the choice that was made here. Let it be honored. The penitent will never regret it.

(Reply to this)


[info]wolflady26
2007-10-19 04:10 pm UTC (link)
I love how this story contrasts the grim, depressing nature of the Bleak with the overwhelming gorgeousness of the prisoner's redemption. And thank you SO much for showing another aspect of the Ai-Naidar that really intrigued me!

This really highlights one of my major problems with our prison system as it stands. What's the good of taking people out of society if, when they are returned to society they have no chance of success? On one hand, it makes sense to let potential employers know if someone is a felon, but on the other hand, how can that felon ever get on his or her feet again if they are always regarded as felons? There is no faith in the system, that this criminal deserves to be on the streets again, or that he or she would have learned something while in prison and be better for it. And there is no really good reason to have that faith, since prison rarely seems to improve people. It's a horribly flawed system.

I saw a documentary a few months ago where they showed a program where people in jail could go into a type of boot camp in return for a shortened sentence. The rules were incredibly strict, and people were broken, but then they were released without being built up again. Although they showed several graduates of the program who were grateful for their new discipline and determined to make a better life for themselves when they left, the vast majority were not able to maintain that discipline when it was not enforced from outside and were back in prison months later.

Given that, I'll take the Ai-Naidar's solution and think it is far more good than creepy.

(Reply to this)


[info]lunarennui
2007-11-05 03:37 am UTC (link)
definitely creepy, in ways i don't have the words to explain.

i'll be buying a copy of the chapbook, though, that's certain. unless you run out of copies, ack!

(Reply to this)


[info]batshua
2009-12-13 04:17 am UTC (link)
Does she get back the name she had before she was sent to the Bleak, or does she get a new name, signifying a new start?

(Reply to this)


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