M. C. A. Hogarth ([info]haikujaguar) wrote,
@ 2007-10-12 22:54:00
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Current mood:tired
Entry tags:meta-conversations, writing

Caregiver is Not a Caste
I am staring blearily at a word processor window with only one sentence, a synopsis for the next aphorism, something for [info]artfulruin, [info]manycolored and [info]ysabetwordsmith, and I am too tired to even do justice to a draft. Still, when I'm this badly off I try to come up with the aphorism for the end or the word for the title.

That's not coming either.

I feel a shadow over one shoulder and don't turn until Thirukedi's voice says, "Caregiver is not a caste."

I blink and twist to look at him. It's hard to bow when you're already seated, but he doesn't seem to mind. "Pardon?" I ask.

He nods toward the window. "That is something your readers might assume. Something incorrect."

"Have you been reading my books?" I ask, wondering how he knows about all the aliens who have people dedicated to childcare... usually downtrodden, oppressed and trapped people, sometimes even bred to do nothing but take care of children.

"It's in your mind, this concept," he says. "But we are not insects, aunerai. Everyone in a family rears children... or else how will any of the adults have time to fulfill the mandates of their ishas, the function of their caste-rank? Society can't stop while families raise the next generation."

Thinking of how right now I'd probably be dead without my niece and mother-in-law's help, and how much easier it would be if my sister and mother were more available, I say, "You keep making more sense than I do."

"Write it down," Thirukedi says. "Tell them. Caregiver is not a caste. Everyone takes care of the young and the old... and one another."

I incline my head.


Stardancer Home.


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[info]altonwings
2007-10-13 03:03 am UTC (link)
"Thinking of how right now I'd probably be dead without my niece and mother-in-law's help, and how much easier it would be if my sister and mother were more available..."

I always wished that we had family closer. Jennifer has two sisters in NY, my family is all out in CA... and we're in NC. Heck, the first 4 days we had Sarah it was just us, we didn't know WHAT to do the right way. Fortunately my mother flew in at the end of that 4'th day to give us some much-needed recoup time. There are days I wish we lived closer to family, believe me.

I must bow, however, to the wisdom shared by Thirukedi.

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[info]grntserendipity
2007-10-13 03:10 am UTC (link)
My grandma grew up with all of her family on the same street in Boston. She married a man from her neighborhood, who lived with his family all on the same street as well. I can't imagine how wonderful it was for her to have all that help! :)

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[info]ellenmillion
2007-10-13 03:14 am UTC (link)
Your creative process is as much fun to watch as reading the end result, you know.

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The missing piece
[info]ysabetwordsmith
2007-10-13 03:34 am UTC (link)
Thirukedi has given us a *very important* missing piece of Ai-Naidari culture! We've gotten so focused on the structure, the castes, the roles, that we forgot to look for the things that *aren't* assigned* in that fashion. The things that are expected of everyone. It's a really big deal that caretaking is expected of everyone, because that's fairly rare in human cultures: usually it gets laid mainly on the women, or occasionally adolescents or elders, or some other (usually disempowered) group.

I am enlightened. I am pleased.

The Calligrapher is like a mirror, or a window-prism, throwing light everywhere he goes. But Thirukedi is the sun. He just ... shines.

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Re: The missing piece
[info]haikujaguar
2007-10-13 03:39 am UTC (link)
Yes, this one stunned me also.

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[info]thisdaydreamer
2007-10-13 06:29 am UTC (link)
Characters have a way of telling you what you are going to do, don't they? I scrapped several chapters after Ashley pointed out that I was going down the wrong path. She was right.

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[info]artfulruin
2007-10-13 10:24 am UTC (link)
*raises hand tiredly*

May I please emigrate to Kerishdar?

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[info]archangelbeth
2007-10-13 01:53 pm UTC (link)
Heh. For all that humans try to make "caregiver" a caste, often linked to "female"... Good for these aliens for not.

Would love to see "happy-family raising kids" dynamics sometime to illustrate it, but... Heh, it would almost need a much larger chunk, need to be in the background and sideground and walk-ons of a larger work, to show the nuances and that it's not just "Daddy Babysitting" or something.

I wish my mom lived closer. We get mother-in-law babysitting half the year (they snowbird down to Florida in winter), but I don't really get along with her well. *sigh*

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[info]janni
2007-10-13 04:18 pm UTC (link)
I've been enjoying all your ruminations on childrearing. Don't know if I said that before, so I'm saying it now. I love the perspective your bringing to these posts, and their insights.

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[info]wolfbrotherjoe
2007-10-15 02:58 pm UTC (link)
You know, that's how it used to be for humans... I wonder what happened. I have a lot of theories, but I know in the old days, it was a family, a village, that raised a child...

I think part of it was the increasing mass of humanity - more and more people being more and more affluent ... leading to more and more independence instead of interdependence. Look what a 'positive' it seems to be to 'Not have to depend on anyone.'

Another part of it happened a few decades back, when suddenly men started being told that it was masculine not to help out around the house. Way things used to work, if men really stuck to the 'masculine traits' that have recently been developed, families would have starved.

I dunno. It's frustrating. I want back to that. I want back to the older group dynamics ... without losing the benefits of modern technology.

I think we advanced too fast, sometimes. Our culture hasn't adapted to our technological level. Give us three generations at a stable tech level, we'd probably have it all worked out - but we're advancing too quickly. It keeps changing.

Hrm. That gives me an *interesting* idea for a world... with the technology and information explosion of the last century or more, Sci-Fi keeps developing future worlds which are vastly advanced... but what if technology advancement slowed down suddenly within the next couple of dozen years, and stayed relatively stable for another hundred? What sort of world would develop... what sort of story could I write in such a world?

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