Regaining One's Context
I bow hastily, which is good of me, but speak first, which is not. And there's no clean way of speaking in Abased in English; I've done my best when translating the results into the passive, but it's not really the same. "Pardon me, I did not expect such august company."
The emperor looks amused. "You expected my public servant."
"The Calligrapher, yes," I say. "It's his stories I've been thinking about."
"You have made your decision," he says.
"No--"
"Ah, but you have," he says. "There is a word for what you feel now, aunerai."
"Tired?" I guess with a lopsided smile.
"No," he says. "When one of us willingly cuts herself out of her community, and attempts to exist outside their context. Those feelings."
"Isolation," I say.
"Out-of-contextness," he says, which is the translated word. I don't get the real word, but I vow I will. "When one loses one's sense of one's value, because one loses one's sense of how one gives and is gifted to in society. Re-connect with your community. There you'll have peace."
"Isn't this a little self-serving?" I ask. "This is like... me telling myself to do what I want to do."
Thirukedi laughs softly. "Does it harm you?"
"No...."
"Does it harm your community?"
"No...."
"Indeed, it helps you and it pleases your community," Thirukedi says. "So does it matter how you make the decision?"
My smile grows even more lopsided. "Right."
"Aunerai," he says, gentle, "you do know why our society places such a strong emphasis on finding the proper place for every individual, do you not?"
"The question has crossed my mind," I say.
"We cannot afford otherwise," he says. "An individual does her best work when she is doing the work she is meant for. Putting her to a task she is unsuited for is inefficient, for she will never do it as well as someone who wants to, nor as fast, nor care as much about the results."
"You can force yourself to do something well," I say.
"But not for long," he says. "Always, the energy to do so runs out. It is not sustainable, and it is a waste. The time we spend finding each person her proper place... it is the time we save in wasted energy and wasted lives."
I look at him.
"We made this choice as a society," he says. "We are dedicated to it. That's why we do it well."
"I hear you," I say softly.
He nods and takes his leave.
***
So, then... here is my thought:
* I am going to write another handful of incense stories: I'd like the total to be 25. I'd like to get in some more showing you the city, and let the others be inspired by your questions.
* I'll post one for a $15 donation, and collect them in one place (probably a website on Stardancer) so you can find them faster.
* Once the full series is done, I will consider making them available as a chapbook with illustrations.
* I will think about doing special editions/illustrated versions for auction, or bookmarks for the people who'd like one. The bookmarks would have the calligraphy on one side and the aphorism on the other.
Modifications to this idea are welcome. :)
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haikujaguar) wrote,
